Why "Why I Hate Everybody..." Exists

Somebody asked me the other day why I started a blog. Was it because I felt unimportant? Did I feel like there was a gaping hole somewhere deep within my weak psyche that would be filled by the sound of mice clicking on the link to my blog? Is that why I started writing?

...well, short answer to that is: yes.

The long answer, however, is that I feel like I have stories to tell. I don't mean that I have "been there" and "seen some shit, man", no, I mean that weird shit has happened to me, just like weird shit has probably happened to everyone.

This classifies as weird... right?
I like writing this blog BECAUSE weird shit has happened to everyone. Some people have asked me why they should give two fucks about my stories, well, it is because similar stuff may have happened to you. If I write about the creepy guy who came out of the bushes brandishing an entire pizza and asking to share, then maybe, just maybe, some reader out there will exclaim "SO I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO THIS HAS HAPPENED TO... HALLELUJAH!!!"

The real reason I write this is because I have some stories, and some of them are funny. Also, my brain is only able to hold about 20 of these stores in there at once. Before I started writing them down every time a new 'moment of oddness' occurred, I would overload my brain and I could feel a blood vessel pop behind my left eye.

One day, after getting off the bus and getting home, I walked into the bathroom, realized I had another story to add and felt a pain behind my eye.

Without warning, my left eye suddenly fired out of my head, ricocheted off the mirror, knocked my toothbrush into the toilet, bounced around the room a few times and then, MIRACULOUSLY, plopped back into the socket from whence it came.

The worst part was I had to get a new toothbrush
It was at that point, I figured it was time to start writing some of these stories down.